A book that might save any marriage

I just finished a book that I wish I had read years ago when I was married. It's called "Boundaries In Marriage". Why is a divorced guy reading this book? Because I'd like to get married again and I would like to be the best husband I can possibly be if God blesses me with another wife. 

The concept of the book is rather simple. The way most of us deal with frustration in our marriage is not effective and God has a better way. In fact the purpose of marriage is not what most of us are looking for. Most are looking to their partner as someone to make you happy for the rest of your life. But marriage, like all of life, is to bring glory to God. That happens when we grow to become more like Jesus. Being locked in marriage will put you under pressure. Pressure reveals a lot about people, which is why a spouse should know you better than anyone else.  Scripture describes marriage as 2 becoming 1. Hollywood turned that into "you complete me". The problem with Hollywood's version is that means you were incomplete without your partner. The Bible is calling for 2 complete people to become one, which is completely different. 

By placing boundaries in your marriage you are helping your partner to become more like Jesus. How so? God has made all of us in His image. We all fall short of that image due to the sin we are born with in our life. It's easier for us to find where our partners are falling short than it is for us to see it in our own lives. So you place a boundary on them. For example your husband has an anger problem. Rather than ignore it, or try to placate it, you tell him about it. Not when he is angry! But in a quiet private moment. Explain what you're seeing. You 're not looking for him to agree with you. You just want to tell him what you are experiencing and then place a boundary on it. Perhaps the boundary is, next time he flies off the handle he will have to sleep in another room. Or maybe even you will move out. You're not giving up on the marriage, you're just telling him that his actions are unacceptable. You still love him, but this behavior isn't Godly and until it changes there are consequences. 

The Bible teaches the "the wounds of a friend can be trusted". You're helping your spouse by bringing into the light their problems and putting boundaries on what is acceptable. You are not helping them, or effecting change, when you nag or ignore the problem.  So this book is fantastic for anyone considering marriage, already in a marriage, or like me, want to learn some of the mistakes I didn't know I had made in my marriage.